She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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