it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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