And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
