I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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