I hate your face
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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