Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize