Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
