youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Randomize
