I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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