I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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