It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
