he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
