She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
