Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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