and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My vagina is officially offended.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
