Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
