i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
did i just pee glitter
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
