I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
