Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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