The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
