I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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