We tried having a conversation with our noses.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize