she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
