one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
