I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
