He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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