I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
