I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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