i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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