Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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