Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
