drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
