I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
