I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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