saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Everclear isn't food dammit
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
