I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
