Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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