We're like a lot better than the average bears
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
