Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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