Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
