i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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