I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize