Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
