Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
