ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
