I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
