There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
