thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She's like a pop up book from hell.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize