Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
