Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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