We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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