I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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