Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
