i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
