Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
