Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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