Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
