Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
