I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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