She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
