At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
COCAINE IS GR8
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
