The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
