What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize