I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
this boner is exhausting
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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